Reading between the lines

I'm reading between the lines of what you write. I shouldn't do that, because it's not good for me. It's not good for my feelings and it's not good for us.

Some improvements have been made, but I still need to change. The one I was had no future. The one I feel like now has no future.

Surrender and trust. So easy to say, so difficult to live.

Majin ja nai kedo

Some days you wish that you could be like a machine. Without feelings, just going with the programming. On days like these, there's nothing better than Front Line Assembly. Cold electronics; sequenced beats; harsh, processed vocals.



Makes you cold inside. For a while.

And then all the feelings come rushing back in again.

I know this whole situation with Γ is difficult for you, my love. I understand that you, at some point, need to allow yourself to mourn what's been lost. I understand what you're going through; I've been there myself - more than once. And I also remember my own mistakes when I was in that situation.

I wish I could just be cool-headed enough to give you however much room you need. I know it would probably be in both of our best interest in the long run. I'm trying to.

But it's so difficult... I'm not a machine.

Your beautiful words

"I was afraid of losing you. It would be so much to lose."

You have shaken my world, Φ. You have swept my feet away.